bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I lost the right to judge tonight
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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