I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
