I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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