I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
