is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Randomize
