he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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