I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
