I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
as a side note pls kill me
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
