he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
