I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
