btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There was a lot of him and a little penis
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Randomize
