Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
this hospital has no fireball
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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