Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
