We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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