No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize