I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize