My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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