Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
