dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
