I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
