Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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