Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I want to have your abortion
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
