watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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