my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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