I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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