And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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