So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
