You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
