seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
