Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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