She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
