They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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