Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I had to cum in my sink.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
