you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize