idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I made him laugh his dick is mine
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
