yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
