so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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