And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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