Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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