he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
