therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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