So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize