It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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