first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
