if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
