There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
