"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
