I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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