member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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