i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
