he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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