YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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