Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
