C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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