i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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