He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
