After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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