is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
