dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize