dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
