First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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