fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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