I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
