My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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